After several months of intense denial, several weeks of sorting, culling and packing, and several days of actually “doing the thing” – I can say, officially, that Becket and I have relocated to Millburn, New Jersey.
We have spent the past two weeks settling-in and sight-seeing. We are tourists in our new town, and thoroughly enjoyed the novelty of having a look around.
Tomorrow we become “locals.” Tomorrow is the first day of school. Tomorrow it is FOR REAL. Tomorrow I may puke from the ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.
Fall is my favorite season, hands down. In large part, BECAUSE of “The First Day of School!” I was one of those annoying nerdettes who could not WAIT for school to start, and prepped my first week “wardrobe” weeks in advance. Back-to-School always feels full of potential, full of promise, full of “the best is yet to come!” Yet, today, the simple question of “what to wear” tomorrow has me full of angst.
I should point out that tomorrow is not even MY first day of school. Becket seems fine… more than fine… he is downright blasé about it all. When I displayed the piles (and piles) of required school supplies, I had color coordinated and labeled with his name and subject (see “nerdette” above) he was all “Ok, thanks. Can we play Beyblades now?” He DIDN’T EVEN LOOK at them
Becket WILL be fine. And so will I.
But at this moment, today… thinking about that moment, tomorrow… I am as close to running away back home as I have ever been. Back to familiar and family and friends and a school we love and nary a thought in the world about what the hell I am GOING TO WEAR.
I am physically ill with worry and I wanted to share that, because I know I am not alone. I know many of you will be walking through strange new doors. Maybe it is a small person entering a new school or team or club – or maybe it is a big person summoning courage to answer that knock of opportunity that just happens to be tapping on a door far far away from where you are right now.
All I can say for us both… for us all… is, open the door. Get some sleep if you can. Load up your supplies. Wear black. Breathe deep, swallow hard. Open the door.
See you on the other side.